"To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own." Jack Kornfield
I tend to hold on to things. Like those jeans from 10 years ago your convince you're going to squeeze back into?! Yep that's me!
This year however I've learned to let go.
Holding on to pain doesn't solve anything. No matter how many time I replay the past in my head it doesn't change the outcome.
I had to accept the past was the past and move on!
You know what happen when I did? I started living!
Living for me!
I realized this year holding on to the past only holds you back. I took chances, I took leaps, and those two things have brought me so much joy in my life!
The crazy reason why some people don't let go, is because they're scared of loosing part of their self. But aren't we loosing ourself holding on to something we can't change.
Whether it's a grudge, relationship, or whatever is holding you back from letting go here is a few tips:
1.) No matter what you imagine in your head, relationships you have in real life are way different then any book or Disney fairy tale has made you believe it would be like.
Accept who you are! Don't change for anyone! As time goes on you will hopefully surround yourself with people who love you for who you are, not what they want you to be! Trust the process! I promise the results are amazing!
2.) You have the key to your own success! Don't let anyone ever define you!
I was told that my thoughts weren't good enough to run a business. My ideas were shot down. I came home and cried everyday, till that one day I decided I have the key! When I decided to turn that key and open a door that would eventually lead me to my biggest dreams, I became me again! It's up to you to prove them wrong. That's what I feel like I have done and still doing!
3.) Control. You can't control others actions. You can only control yourself and your actions.
I've but so much time and energy into trying to change, change myself and change others. The biggest problem I have is wanting to please others. Like if I do everything they want, they will always be happy with me. WRONG!! Yes, I said WRONG!
4.) What do you think of yourself? That's all that should matter!
Prioritize yourself! Now I'm not saying leave your family high and dry, but until you take care of yourself you can't take care of anyone else! I didn't know the true meaning of this till after I gave birth to Eliza. I was still recovering after giving birth when she went into her extended stay at the hospital. My hormones were all out of wack and I was a mess. I didn't understand why my therapist and Eliza's doctors kept telling me, I needed to take care of myself when my baby was lying in a bed hooked up to so many tubes and wires. But the moment I took their advice, I was able to care for Eliza better then I had in the hospital and before too long we were on our way home. (For more information on Eliza's condition, make sure to read my first blog post.)
You can't live by your values if you're living for the approval of others.
5.) Everyone make mistakes!
Yes, everyone! Make a mistake, let it go, move on. We're all human!
6.) You can't change everything.
Quit wishing things could be the way they once were. When you bring yourself to present day, life happens. Let me tell you from experience it's amazing!
7.) Jump out of your comfort zone.
This goes into my last blog! Take a read!
Last but not least, learn forgiveness!
Unwillingness to forgive will keep you in the past. My past I wasn't happy, I wasn't me! When I learned to forgive and move forward, I started moving mountains. We are only what we let ourselves become. So leave the past behind, except the things you can't change and live for you!